April 10, 2009
5:00 PM
Crystal Springs Golf Course
Burlingame, California
The Marriage Service
Prelude
Seating of the Mother of the Bride (Left side facing front)
Zhi Dan Zhou by David Cheng
Seating of the Parents of the Groom (Right side facing front)
Qing Gong Tang & Rui Fang Li
Entrance of the Groom’s Men and Groom
Pastor Don Ng, Groom Tony Tang, Best Man David Hwang, Groom’s Men Paul Jan and Gordon MacDonald
Processional
Bridesmaids Angela____
Sharon Xiao
Maid of Honor Christine Nutile
Flower Girl Cassia Harrison
(Everyone stands)
Bride Cindy Zhou and Father of the Bride Tai Jun Zhou
Welcome & Opening Prayer
I welcome you to this beautiful setting and holy moment in the lives of Tony Tang and Cindy Zhou as we witness their exchange of marriage vows, the precious beginning of a lifetime commitment. Please be seated. For the sacredness of this moment, let me remind you to silent your cell phones at this time.
This afternoon, we are here to celebrate with Tony and Cindy, their public declaration of their love and commitment. They stand here before us not with any giddy notion that confines love to a feeling, nor with the delusion that a wedding and a marriage are one in the same. Rather, they come before you with the wisdom born out of life’s experiences that a love that has matured in the soil of caring relationships when they first met at Barclays where they both work.
They also stand before you a people of faith, deeply committed to Christ and his church. They recognize that unless God is the energy that powers their ever-growing relationship, their work at setting up a home is little more than vanity. They acknowledge that more important than expectations each has for the other, are the expectations God has for the both of them. They affirm that it is God’s intention that the commitments made here today be held and cherished for as long as God graces them with life.
It is these understandings and affirmations that Tony and Cindy now pledge their faithfulness to each other in this service of marriage.
Let us pray.
Eternal God, we stand here in this green open space that has been made beautiful by the touch of your creative hand. What a perfect place to celebrate the marriage of Tony and Cindy! This display of your handiwork reminds us that, small as we are next to you, we, too, are a part of your grand design. O Lord, who brought all these visual delights into being, we thank you also for creating us that we may find delight in one another. Be present with us now as Tony and Cindy celebrate the beginning of their life together before you. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
Presentation of the Bride & Groom Pastor Don Ng
Tony and Cindy deeply appreciate the rich and warm heritage of their families and especially the love and nurture that they have received from their parents. Acknowledging that God has brought them together, who has the honor of presenting them to be married today?
(Parents stand up)
Parents: “We do.”
(Cindy’s father takes his seat.)
Declaration of Intent
Tony and Cindy, here in the presence of God and your family and friends, I ask you to declare your intention to enter into covenant with each other through the grace of Jesus Christ.
Tony, will you have Cindy to be your wife, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
Tony: “I will.”
Cindy, will you have Tony to be your husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
Cindy: “I will.”
Scripture Reading Colossians 3:12-15
As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful.
Words to the Couple—Commitment to Each Other
Tony and Cindy, as a community of your extended family and friends, we have gathered today to share your joy. Because we all know and love you, appreciate and respect you as individuals, we all hold great hope for your marriage today.
You are both high-achievers. You have earned PhDs. You have traveled to distant corners of the world and would like to visit places like Africa and Cambodia. You have launched your successful careers. You have accumulated good and loving friends. You both have keen minds and inquiring, adventurous spirits. You are both perceptive and sensitive especially of the people around you. You know how to set goals and achieve them. You also know how to relax and have fun like going skiing in Tahoe or visiting the Napa wine country. And you know something about how the world works like what is happening to the world financial markets. In short, you both have much to contribute to other people and to our world. We believe in you, and know you will get along well in life.
And today, you’re committing your lives to each other. If today’s events can be summarized in one word, that word is commitment. And a lasting commitment to each other requires a unique set of skills different from what is taught at the University of Chicago or at Tulane. These skills can’t be learned from self-help manuals. And we certainly don’t hear about them on Facebook or on the TV.
Instead, we live in a world where commitment is not held in high regard. In fact, in a world where we can only be certain of change, most people avoid commitment. While our world today may never be known for its enthusiasm to embrace commitment, anything worthwhile or has long-lasting value requires commitment.
The qualities that make commitment possible are not elusive. They’re actually thousands of years old and are expressed in the powerful words from Colossians: compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, love, and thankfulness.
I noticed the value of compassion when Cindy wants a little puppy and to see how it would mature to become a big dog. There’s kindness when Tony is willing to go out of his way to get milk tea for Cindy. Cindy exemplifies humility when she compliments Tony for his gift in detail planning when she works professionally with numbers all day. Or humility can be seen in Tony who compliments Cindy for being a good cook when he is always thinking about opening and running his own dumpling shop. There’s caring meekness when the two of you are open to hearing and sincerely wanting to know each other’s shared thoughts, opinions and sometimes, even disagreements.
The qualities of patience and love will be necessary when you plan to have lots of children as many as to have a basketball team. Just as love brought the two of you together, love is a requirement to have little Tonys and little Cindys running around in your contemporary and simple home. With all those children, I’m not sure if you will keep it from being uncluttered!
I was informed that the way Cindy met Tony was that to prove to his friends that Cindy liked him, Tony text message himself saying that Cindy was asking him for a date. I don’t know what to say about that except that it would take some forgiving from Cindy to become good friends again. Forgiving each other on a regular basis makes a strong and healthy marriage. Finally, there is the quality of thankfulness that you have for God’s blessings and your love for each other. You are thankful to have someone to share life with, someone to go to exotic places with, someone to walk around San Francisco Chinatown and the Embarcadero with, and someone to support each other in both joy and sadness.
Tony and Cindy, if you cultivate these qualities in your lives, with God’s help, your marriage will flourish. These qualities will give your life depth and meaning. They will let your relationship grow to the point that the two of you together will contribute more to life than what both of you could ever hope to do separately. And in the end, you’ll be remembered for these qualities. They are the only things that count in life. More than words, they’re qualities of life that can transform your commitment today into a life long reality. Commitment means compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, love, and thankfulness.
Tony and Cindy, these qualities can turn your individual lives into one of God’s gifts to each other.
Exchange of Vows
Tony and Cindy have written and memorized their vows that they will now say to each other.
Tony: I, Tony, take you, my Cindy, to be my lawful wedded wife. You are God’s precious gift to me.
You have brought hope and joy to my life ever since we met.
You are my compass in the open sea, my lamp in the dark night, and my wings in the blue sky.
From this day forward, I will always be on your side, be your shelter, and be your loving husband.
I promise to love you, honor you, and comfort you, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better and for worse, as long as we both shall live. May our love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever!
Cindy: I, Cindy, take you, my Tony, to be my lawful wedded husband.
I give you myself, take you as my love, and this will never change no matter what.
Life may come easy or hard, seasons will change, together we will grow old and share every moment of life.
Rain will fall down and sun will shine bright, and through hot summer days and cold winter nights, when autumn leaves fall down and spring flowers cover the ground, I will love no one more than you.
I promise to love through health and youth, weak and old, when among family and friends, or just us alone.
When our babies are young, or our children have grown, because of you, I will always have a home.
My Tony, you are the love of my life.
I promise from this moment of our life, I will always be on your side.
Exchange of Rings
For many centuries, a wedding ring has been a symbol of a pledge that those who give a ring intend to live up to the vows and promises made at the time of marriage. A ring is a visible sign of an inward grace that signifies the givers and receivers becoming one in holy marriage through the church of Jesus Christ.
Let us pray. O Lord, enable Tony and Cindy to be aware of this sacred moment when they receive evidence of their pledge of love and loyalty to one another. May we know your peace and your favor as they begin their new life together, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Tony: As a sign of my sincere love for you, Cindy,
I give you this ring.
Wear it in the knowledge
that I cherish you
With all of my heart and will.
With God’s help,
I will live up to my promises,
I make to you today.
Cindy: As a sign of my sincere love for you, Tony,
I give you this ring.
Wear it in the knowledge
that I cherish you
With all of my heart and will.
With God’s help,
I will live up to my promises,
I make to you today.
Sand Ritual
In Genesis 2, we read that God formed man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being. Reflecting on God’s creation, Tony and Cindy have collected sand to represent where they have come from. Tony’s sand is from Baker’s Beach in San Francisco and Cindy’s is from her hometown, Guilin in China. These are two different kinds of sand. To symbolize their marriage, they will pour their separate sand together into a new jar to make a new kind of sand. Just as the mixed sand is inseparable, their new life together is forever inseparable but only one in God’s sight and for all of us as witnesses of their commitment to each other.
Wedding Prayer
Joy rings through the skies, and songs echo in the trees, O God, for love is alive today. We thank you for the love that has brought Tony and Cindy to this moment of promise, and ask you to bless their marriage. Lead them along the paths of compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, love, and thankfulness. Let their love grow as true as the flowers around us. Give them your mercy and blessings to see beyond the daily challenges. Be their abiding presence in the day and in the night, so that their love may be a beacon of hope to our world today. Amen.
Announcements
After the recessional, Tony and Cindy have requested that all family members return to the sanctuary for wedding pictures. They would like to capture your presence on this special day in their life.
Following this service here, you are invited to a reception of cocktails and appetizers followed with dinner. Please exit out the gate, make an immediate left, and follow the main road to the clubhouse. The reception is in the Vista Room where Tony and Cindy will look forward to meeting you.
Declaration of Marriage
Tony and Cindy, you both came to this ceremony today because of the love that you share. With sincerity you have made sacred promises to each other in the presence of your family, your friends and your God. Live all the days of your lives with this deep desire to be together—having brunch together on a lazy morning or walking hand in hand exploring new places that you have not been before or eating lunch together at Barclays. And when the rest of the world may be in a frenzy, lose yourself in each other’s arms and talk until it’s morning.
Tony and Cindy, because you have publicly made your vows to each other today, have given and received rings as an outward sign of an inward love for each other, and have mixed your sand together to signify the oneness you have in Christ, I, as a Minister of the Christian Gospel now declare you to be husband and wife. Joined as one, Tony and Cindy, you will continue to be blessed by the love that you share, the love you have for God and the love that God has for each of you.
Benediction
May you experience loving companionship in your life together
So that if one falls, one may pick the other up
So that if one is cold in the Bay Area, one may give the other warmth
So that if one is laughing, one may share the laughter
So that if one is still hungry, one would happily share more food with the other
So that if one is dreaming of having lots of children and traveling to interesting places, one may share those dreams
You came as very good friends, you leave as very loving friends
You came as two, today you leave as one.
May God bless you and keep you; May God makes his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; May God lift up the heavens and give you peace and joy this day and forevermore. Amen.
Pronouncement
It is my joy and honor to introduce to you for the very first time, “Mr. and Mrs. Tony and Cindy Tang!”
(Permission to kiss)
Recessional
Postlude
Officiant: Rev. Donald Ng