September 16, 2012
Sermon preached by Rev. Donald Ng at the First Chinese Baptist Church in San Francisco.
Late last year, the actor Alec Baldwin was escorted off an American Airlines plane because he was playing this Scrabble-like game, Words with Friends on his smart phone after the flight attendants asked him to turn off his phone because the plane was about ready to take off. The irony is that he was playing this word game with friends but when the flight attendants were trying to perform their jobs, Baldwin became extremely rude to the crew calling them inappropriate names and using offensive language, not friendly words as this app is called.
Have many of your played Words with Friends?
The Alec Baldwin story points out the reality that we tend to use words one way for certain people and situations and then employ a whole different vocabulary and attitude for others. We can see our friends and loved ones as worthy of our attention and choice words, but with people we don’t know well, like flight attendants, as less human and deserving only of contempt. We pay more attention to the words we type on our phones than the words we say to people right in front of us.
Friends with Words
My Toisanese mother while small in stature was tall in wisdom. She used to tell me that once you say some words especially when they are unpleasant ones, you could never take them back. She meant that once it’s made known in the world, it’s public property and you would always be associated with these words. There is a Chinese proverb that says, “A bad word whispered will echo a hundred miles.” My mother could have said that.
The writer of James identified the problem with words in this famous passage about the tongue in chapter 3. We might think of James as kind of the original writer on the rules of using words with friends and others. For James, those who are in the game of using words had better be sure to use them wisely.
James first warns those who aspire to become teachers because “we who teach will be judged with greater strictness” (v.1). Any teacher, in church, or in school, must know that his or her words carry great weight and can very easily harm or encourage a student. Now James didn’t list the profession of pastors here but I use words all the time! Therefore, if I don’t select my words wisely and appropriately, I too would be judged with greater strictness!
While we “all make mistakes,” it’s important for teachers and pastors (and all of us) to strive for that perfect word choice that becomes a “bridle” for controlling the kind of loose and destructive talk that can inevitably leak out and cause destruction (v.2).
Indeed, like a bit in the mouth of a horse, a controlled tongue can guide a person’s whole “body” in what he says and does (v.3). We all know that the words that come out of the mouth of a person foretell the kind of person she is. If she uses kind and compassionate words, most likely the person is kind and compassionate. If he uses abusive and aggressive words, most likely the person is violent and mean-spirited.
Tongue Metaphors
To further explain the point that James is trying to make, he introduces more metaphors for us to understand the tongue. First, he said the tongue is like a rudder for a ship. The tiny rudder of a very large ship has as much to do with where the ship goes according to the “will” of the pilot, as does the wind that drives the sails (v.4). Like a small rudder on a large ship, the words we use have the ability to steer us toward safety or disaster. We have to be diligent in taking the wheel (v.5). Even a small word, ill-spoken and timed, can cause a disaster in motion—a “world of iniquity” that corrupts the whole person and those around him or her (v.6).
Secondly, James compares the tongue to a spark that has the potential to light a forest ablaze (v.5). See how devastating the wildfires are in Los Angeles this past week? The tongue or the words that come out of our mouths are like a wildfire. It can destroy a whole community of Christian people.
We can all attest to the fact that we all have experience situations where a simple yes or no, or the mere compliance with a request, would have prevented a whole string of other disasters. Whether we’re trying to assert our “rights” or trying to impress others, or just being stubborn about matters, we get into trouble when our words aren’t friendly and our speech isn’t tightly controlled.
For instance, there are times when we are thinking that we are giving a compliment when we are sarcastic with words that are actually very hurtful.
“I’ll bet you’ve been dieting! Why, you’re looking gooood!”
“I’m glad you didn’t go out of your way to clean before we came over?”
“You’re going to have big shoes to fill, as the new office manager.”
We may think that we are complimentary but truthfully, our compliments are veiled in criticism.
James makes it clear that the tongue isn’t like an animal that can be tamed by the human species. Instead, it’s untamable: “a restless evil filled with deadly poison” (vv.7-8).
Some of you are saying to yourselves, “Hey, as humans we sometimes say dumb things!” We can’t help it. We know of times when it seems like things just come out of our mouths in the form of words that don’t seem so friendly. But James won’t let us get away with that kind of thinking. The only way to control the tongue is to monitor what’s happening inside us on a deeper level.
James says, for example, that with our tongues we both “bless the Lord and Father” and “curse those who are made in the image or likeness of God” (v.9). What this tells us is that we have this double-mindedness that separates us from God. We use the same tongue, the same mouth to praise God and to curse people who are made in the image of God.
When we curse people, we are dehumanizing them and see ourselves as always being in a game in which we have to be the winner. If you believe you deserve more than others and are superior to them, you will treat them with contempt.
There’s an old adage that says if you really want to know about a person’s character, watch how that person treats the waiter or waitress at a restaurant. Does he treat this person as a person, or merely as a servant? Kind words aren’t meant only for friends. We’re to offer them to everyone because they, like us, are made in God’s image. You can’t bless God and curse his image at the same time.
Inside Transformation
So what causes us to have this double-mindedness? Why does it seem that there are times when we act differently to different people? Why is it so hard to tame our tongues?
The truth is that if we want to have any control over the tongue, we need to pay attention to our inner lives from which either blessing or cursing can come forth. Does the inner spring in our lives gush with both fresh and brackish water (v.11)? Can a fig tree yield olives? Does salt water spontaneously turn into fresh water? (v.12). No, what’s inside a person determines the kind of fruit that comes out in the form of words and deeds.
If we are going to be the kind of people who use words wisely, then we’ve got to first cultivate an inner life that sees everyone as a friend created in God’s image. We need a vision of life that doesn’t put us at the center of the universe, but rather centers on God and on God’s purposes. The God who spoke the word of creation and sent the Word to become flesh in his own Son, urges us to choose the kind of words that reflect his character, life and love.
This may be simple in your mind but the greatest story ever told is a simple story. After all that we have done to speak against God and become defiant and disobedient, God still loves us and demonstrated that love by giving us his Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ. When Jesus died on the cross for you and for me, he took away all the bad words and things that we have done and forgave us when we didn’t even deserved it! When you believe this, your life—your inner life becomes whole and healthy again. You don’t have to use abusive, inappropriate, rude, offensive, and mean-spirited words against anyone anymore. We don’t have this need to be superior and better in front of others anymore because we are already precious and valuable in the eyes of God.
We can begin to tame our tongue by using some of the best words in the English language. What do you think is the best word in English? Here’s a possible top ten list of great words:
Yes (affirming, positive)
No (sets boundaries and limits)
You (focus on others)
Thanks (express gratitude)
Sorry (express regret)
Maybe, probably or perhaps (offers hope)
Positive exclamations (awesome, fabulous, terrific, excellent, etc.)
Please (expresses desire)
Because (expresses rationale, offers an explanation)
Chocolate (the answer to everything)
But I would like to add another one: Love. But Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. Jesus Christ came along and gave powerful meaning to the word, Love to mean, “God loves you.”
In a world where almost every adult person has a mobile phone for everything else but talking to one another, maybe we can recapture the art of using words in a way that reflects the character of the God who used words to create the universe and sent the Word in Jesus Christ to dwell among us.
Maybe if you are one of those who are playing Words for Friends, that you truly become friends with all the people you are connected with and then going beyond these friends to include those whom you may have looked upon with contempt.
There’s another old Chinese proverb that I want to close with and it’s one that I know I have shared before. And allow me the liberty to add a few additional lines.
If there is a good word on the tongue,
There will be light in the soul.
If there is light in the soul,
There will be beauty in the person.
If there is beauty in the person,
There will be harmony in the house.
If there is harmony in the house,
There will be order in the nation.
If there is order in the nation,
There will be peace in the world.
If there is peace in the world,
We know that this peace comes from God in Christ who dwells in your heart and in mine.
Let us pray.
God of grace, forgive us when we have used words to hurt others whom you have created in your own image. Teach us to believe that we are loved by you and it is our calling to spread the Word in Jesus Christ in the world. Let our words unite and not divide. Let our lives join with one another as your beloved community known as FCBC and in so doing, lead us as your people to doing great things. Fill us with hope and vision so that all great things are possible with you. Amen.