Luke 15:1-3; 11b-32
June 17, 2001
Sermon preached by Rev. Donald Ng at the First Chinese Baptist Church in San Francisco
It’s Father’s Day, and it’s interesting to see that there are no more fathers in church today than in any other Sundays. But if this were Mother’s Day, we would see some mothers with corsages!
In most local churches the shakers and movers are not fathers but mothers; not men, but women. At an annual meeting of one church when they were reviewing the membership of 111 members of which 73 were female, the pastor said, “It seems the women outweigh the men in the church.” A female deacon got up and corrected him, “The correct word is ‘outnumber.’”
For most churches, out-numbering men, 60 to 40 percent, women are the heart and soul of the church. The ratio in some cases may run as high as 7 to 1. Even in churches that ordain only men, the inner circle of lay people who actually run things is mostly female.
Some people have called this “the feminization of the church.”
In studies done about spirituality, men say they believe in God as often as women do. But they attend church much less frequently than women, and they engage in private religious activities far less often.
So what is the church to do? Throw in the towel and become a single-sex spiritual movement? I wonder if it’s time on this Father’s Day, to take a fresh look at God the Father. Perhaps if more men were able to identify God with their masculinity, there would be more interest for men to attend church.
In the desire to become more PC—politically correct and more inclusive, have we killed off our understanding of the masculine side of God?
The Forgiving Father
Today’s Scriptures is the familiar parable we come to know as “The Prodigal Son.” Since Jesus himself didn’t give a title to this story, it might also be called the “Loving Father,” “Waiting Father,” or the “Forgiving Father.” The focus of the parable could as easily be on the father as it is on the son.
Now we have a hothead of a younger son who is arrogant and self-centered. He thinks he can sell space heaters in the Sinai. The son asks for his share of his father’s estate, in advance of his father’s death. This request is a terrible insult in the culture of ancient Near East—as it is even for today! He is saying, in effect, “Father, you are dead to me!”
The younger son is killing off his masculine role model, much as we have done to God.
After the younger son squandered away his money in destitute living, partying with friends and prostitutes, he had to work as a hired hand and would have gladly eaten what the pigs ate. He was that bad off.
Of course, the kid returns home. They all do, right?
Now if this kid was mine and he came home after what he has done, I would give him one of these: “knuckles on the head.” As a typical Chinese father with “machismo,” true male genes, I’d either bar the gates and send this scoundrel son packing, or at the very least, I’d give him a hosing down with enough spitting words to wash a car!
Now if the father of the Prodigal Son didn’t have the guts to discipline his son, the older brother certainly had enough reasons to do so. “Come on, Dad, give him what he deserves. He’s got it coming!”
The father doesn’t act that way, and in fact, behaves in quite the opposite manner, showing tenderness, forgiveness, and mercy.
Tenderness? That’s a feminine characteristic. Forgiveness? Oh, only women take time to talk and work toward forgiving each other. Mercy? The “Terminator” never showed mercy in the movies. The father in the story of the Prodigal Son doesn’t resemble the typical human father of being stern, harsh, and unrelenting. But instead, the father portrays what may be more typically the characteristics of what mothers are like?
Is that the reason why today’s men find it so difficult to identify with God? We want a strong, mean, testosterone God?
Scripture offers a view of God as Father. But it also depicts God with a wide-range of human emotions. In our text for today, we get a glimpse of God’s full acceptance of those who rebel and return. It’s full acceptance that comes even before the prodigal son makes his confession. When the son was still far away, the father saw his boy and filled with love and compassion ran and put his arms around him and kissed him—even before the son utters a single word of apology.
This story demonstrates just how committed God is to reconciliation. Working for reconciliation is not gender-specific. You don’t have to be a mother to bring healing and wholeness in this world.
Restorative Justice
The biggest news this past week was the execution of Timothy McVeigh. It is unimaginable for us to sympathize enough with the family and friends who lost loved ones in the country’s most hideous internal terrorist violence.
And when McVeigh confessed his acts of murder and showed no remorse, moments before he died, we are left with perhaps feelings that justice was finally done.
I know this is not the time or place to discuss the many intricacies of capital punishment. But I do wonder if after such a horrible tragedy that raw revenge solves our need for healing.
In Exodus 21, we justify in serious injury, you are to take life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise. Life for life is a justification for capital punishment. It is raw and naked revenge.
The true meaning of justice must include both the victim and the offender. Jesus didn’t call for revenge on his killers—instead, he said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” Revenge is replaced by reconciliation.
There’s a new movement in the justice system, especially in Canada called “restorative justice.” It’s based on the notion that you don’t have the freedom to exclude anyone. No human being has the right to deny the existence of another human being, regardless of how horrific the crime was committed by a criminal. It offers the guilty an opportunity to be restored—restored by showing repentance, making restitution for damage, restoring relationship, and making a commitment to change their criminal ways.
With the approval of the victim, offenders who qualify attend a series of supervised meetings with the victims. What usually happens is that the offender is able to put a face on his victim. His crime is personalized. Complete restitution must be made, and together he and the victim work out the details.
The secret to healing broken relationships is restorative justice, not punitive justice. We don’t let criminals off the hook. But they need to show sincere faith in Jesus Christ. They still need to repent, make restitution, restore relationships, and change their ways—and this work is much tougher than letting a criminal sit in a cell block or be executed by lethal injection.
Society expected the father of the Prodigal Son to administer punitive justice. He deserved to eat what the pigs ate and work off his disobedient ways as a hired hand. But the father was committed to reconciliation instead of revenge.
Forgiving Father God
When we look at Scripture, even with a careful eye to inclusiveness, the reference to God is most often male. There are good reasons for this. The male metaphor emerges not just because of the paternalistic milieu in which the Scriptures were formed, for God would not allow a defective image to portray his nature—whatever the cultural ethos. The masculine character of God allows for a more comprehensive understanding of God’s nature.
You see, biblical fathers, if they were true to their role, had hierarchical duties as the head of families and clans to impose justice or show mercy. The father in the Prodigal Son story in biblical context was the only one who could have granted restorative justice and hold back punishment.
As God brought justice and mercy into the world in Jesus Christ, we as mothers and fathers should do that as well.
Today’s Fathers
In our contemporary families, the role of fathers as the “head of the house” has changed. The notion of God as only a father figure has been questioned in the church. And if you were to talk to any football players, it’s very PC to leave the Father out and to hug the Mother.
So today, we want to say “Happy Father’s Day, God!” And we invite fathers to model after God himself. We invite fathers to teach their sons and daughters what it means to be truly spiritual and what it means to have a deep connection with Jesus Christ. We ask fathers to renounce senseless violence and unbridled rage as being anti-male and anti-God.
Fathers and mothers are the key to strong and healthy families and offer the best prospect for sons and daughters who will grow up to love God and become committed disciples of Jesus Christ.
No, we are not saying that single mothers or single fathers can’t raise their children beautifully. But we are saying that with all things being equal, children growing up in homes with parents, do better in life than others less advantaged. And children with godly, spiritual fathers, do even better.
By helping to reclaim God the Father in our Christian faith, it may be the key to reconnecting more fathers and men to the church. When the Prodigal Son discovered that his father was forgiving and good, he repents of his sins and discovers how to become a good son. When we are able to believe that God is forgiving, loving and a good Father in heaven, we men discover how we can become good sons to God our Father. When we become forgiving, and show mercy, and love kindness, we discover that our own sons and daughters grow up to become good children.
Facing Tomorrow
A pediatrician studied how mothers and fathers tend to carry their babies. Mothers usually hold their babies with them facing inward toward the mother’s body and space. Sometimes, they would carry them over the shoulder giving the child a view of the world the mother just passed through.
Fathers, on the other hand, tend to carry the baby with the child’s face forward. The baby’s butt on the father’s upturned palm, body tucked between the father’s biceps and side of the chest gives the baby the same view of the world the father has, that is approaching it head on. In America, we call this the “football position.”
I’m not too sure what’s my point here. But we might be able to say that God the Father out of his love for the world confronted the world head on and granted forgiveness and showed mercy. 2000 years ago, we received forgiveness from God in the life and sacrifice in Jesus Christ. As we face the world out there, we still need God to show us the way. We still need God the Father to continue to demonstrate for us that justice and mercy are still new things that our world still needs. We need God to bring healing for renewal, healing in our broken-ness, healing to violence in our society.
When we fathers carry our babies facing the world, we need to first respond to our heavenly Father, on Father’s Day and everyday. As fathers, we need to be like the Prodigal Son and return home to God. We need to be like the Forgiving Father in the parable and embrace our own children.
We need to support our families through the years of difficulty and often, unpleasant work as men have done for centuries. We may need to struggle with God and with the temptation and with evil, as Jesus did throughout his own life.
In this study about how mothers and fathers tend to carry their babies, there is one thing in common that they do. Eighty percent of the time both mothers and fathers hold the child on their left side. We all tend to hold babies next to the beats of our hearts.
Our Father God holds us close to his heartbeats too—for God is not dead like the Prodigal Son implied. God’s heart beats in us as we all serve as mothers and fathers to God’s children everywhere.
Let us pray.
Precious Father God, we pray for your guidance and blessings to serve as good Moms and Dads in your name. Lead us in paths of righteousness so that we may do your will. And may we forgive as you have lovingly forgiven us. Amen.