Luke 2:41-52
May 9, 1999
Sermon preached by Rev. Donald Ng at the First Chinese Baptist Church of San Francisco.
When my mother was living in Boston and we lived in Philadelphia, she was always worrying about us driving those 300 miles home. Before we loaded the car with our bags, she would have packages ready for us to take home placed near the top of the stairs. Sometimes there were 3 to 4 plastic bags containing char sui bows, lap cheung, egg roll cookies, navel oranges, and at times, leftovers from the night before. She was always worried about the possibility of a car breakdown and that we would be stranded without anything to eat. We would try to fight off all this food, saying that we have enough and that she shouldn’t. Without telling her, the kids have already set their minds on stopping at MacDonald’s on the way home.
Before going down the stairs, my mother would hand me an assortment of quarters, dimes, and nickels in a zip-lock sandwich bag for the turnpike tolls. I told her we had money to get home. But it was always futile to argue because she has been saving change for awhile anticipating our visit. “Goodbyes” were never easy. We each gave her a peck on the cheeks. She would give me a pat on the butt like a coach would do to his football player going back out on the field. She always said, “When you get home, call me.” She then would sit on the windowsill in the living room waving us goodbye as we pull out of the driveway.
As human beings, we all have a mother. If I gave you an opportunity, most of us can probably tell stories about our mothers like I just did. Some of these experiences may be sentimental and memorable to the deepest parts of our souls. They may have taken on the importance of principles and values that we have incorporated into our own lives. They serve as guidelines to help us organize our own daily existence now. For example, we now tell our own kids to call us when they get home.
Some of these experiences also reflect times of difficulty and hardship. They may represent differences and misunderstandings that have simmered for a long time leading to a breakdown of trust and communication. We try not to think about this. And we do whatever we can to compartmentalize these painful relationships with our mothers like they were things that can be stuffed into kitchen cabinets so that we can get on with the rest of life.
And then some of these experiences are just the enduring facts of life that happen to all of us. We carry through with chores and errands to maintain a functioning household that has food in the pantry, clean clothes in the bureaus, and some time to visit relatives and go on vacation. These ordinary and mundane tasks of life are also shared and common to so many of us. They help us to mark each passing day on the calendar magnetized on the refrigerator door.
Jesus’ Mother
Jesus’ mother was also worried about him. One time when they traveled to Jerusalem for the annual Passover festival, Jesus became lost from his parents. They thought he was hanging out with his cousins and friends leaving the city to return home when he actually stayed in Jerusalem. His parents searched for three days before they found him in the temple talking with the teachers. Imagine how scared his parents must have been by that time. They probably sent out an all points bulletin to search for him. And when they finally found him, they were mad. They said, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” My guess is that Mary used other choice words that just didn’t get into the Bible. Just imagine how you would have felt. “Explain yourself! What do you mean by this behavior? You scared us half to death!”
Jesus’ response must have knocked his mother off her feet. He said, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Jesus’ parents didn’t understand what he was saying. They probably brushed it off as typical adolescent behavior.
Afterward, Jesus returned with his parents to Nazareth and Luke said, he “was obedient to them.” Growing up with parents whether it’s Jesus with Mary and Joseph or for us with our own parents is never easy or never always pleasant. Growing up with parents is necessary. And they teach us how we might become parents and nurturers for the next generation.
God is Parent
We have come to understand God as a parent figure. From this episode in Jesus’ life when he was only twelve in Jerusalem, we can learn three things about God. How do we grow up with God?
1. God as a parent worries.
The underlying theme of the Bible is that God is worry about our faithfulness to God’s plan. From the beginning of creation to the giving of the commandments to the establishment of Israel to the destruction of the temple to the prophets when Israel disobeyed God to the ultimate act of God to save us from our sins in the gift of Jesus Christ. God has been worrying about us.
Jesus worried about the violence in Jerusalem when he said,
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those
who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were
not willing. (Matthew 23:37-39)
There was one time when we forgot to call my mother when we got home to Pennsylvania. She stayed up almost all night waiting to get a call. When she didn’t, she called us in the middle of the night to hear my voice. I was already asleep. I learned later that my mother was so worried that she became sick the next day.
Sometimes, when we have so much on our minds that we forget that someone is worrying about you or counting on you to come through for them. Obviously, I felt pretty bad that I caused my mother to worry. But it is good to know that someone was worried for me.
As a church, we practice our love and concern for each other when we hear prayer concerns and celebrations during worship. We invite each other to worry about what is going on. When we trust our most inner worries to God and to one another, we believe that God will make miracles to happen. And surely this is true! When we are so busy with life, it is good to know that God is constantly worrying for us.
As God worries about us, we also worry about those we love. We know how to worry because God first showed us how he worried about us.
2. God as a parent suffers.
God worried so much that he was willing to suffer on our behalf. God realized that after all previous attempts to win our faithfulness and we turned away from him, God decided to go all the way. In Jesus Christ, God suffered so that we may have everlasting life. When Peter was encouraging new Christians who were suffering under persecution for their faith, he wrote:
For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the
unrighteous, in order to bring you to God. He was put to death in
the flesh, but made alive in the Spirit. (1 Peter 3:18)
Because Jesus suffered and showed us how to suffer, we know how to suffer today for Christ. In our suffering, we discover our spirits getting stronger, and our inner hurts beginning to heal. We will discover that the God of the Bible is worthy of our trust, and his bow in the sky is a sign of hope for us and for hurting people around the world.
Out of suffering, we begin to see healing taking place:
*Victims of apartheid in South Africa are doing some of the world’s best work on forgiveness and reconciliation.
*Mothers of victims of violent crimes are the most vocal advocates of better gun control laws.
*Cancer survivors are probably the most tireless advocates for cancer research, and the most effective members of cancer support groups.
When we do experience the sufferings of life, God mysteriously works on these tender areas in our lives to heal and return them to wellness and wholeness. We discover ways to become stronger out of the times when we are the weakest.
3. God as a parent finds us.
Being lost in the world is scary. Maybe we can’t identify with boy Jesus when he was in the temple talking with the teachers. But we can certainly identify with his parents who frantically searched for three days to find him only to discover that he never left the temple in the first place. He was almost right under their noses.
This is true with us. We may think that we must look in high and low places to discover meaning and fulfillment for our lives, when the answers are right under our noses. Some of us and perhaps our children feel that they have to do something extreme and dangerous in order to find themselves when their identity is here—right under their noses.
Just like Mary and Joseph after traveling to Nazareth for a whole day, returned to Jerusalem to search for three more days to eventually find him in the temple, maybe our answers to life can be discovered right here at First Chinese Baptist. Paul Fong said in class one day, that the best thing parents can do to “bring up” children who will become mature and responsible people is to come to church. He is right! Don’t get lost trying to find meaning in life when you can find it here.
My mother always said that since she had four sons, that I would be more like the daughter. As long as I can remember, I loved to clean and especially sweeping the floors. My brothers gladly let me do it. Sweeping removes what is old and clears the way for what is new; it can help us find what was lost. Jesus used a woman sweeping as a metaphor for God:
“What woman having ten silver coins, if she loses one of them, does not
light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? When
she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, “Rejoice
with me, for I have found the coin that I had lost.” Just so, I tell you, there is
joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
(Luke 15:8-10)
God will never give up looking for us until we are found to be in his presence. Even when God already has nine silver coins, he will look for the tenth one that was lost. Mary and Joseph didn’t give up searching for Jesus until they found him three or four days later. We don’t need to be lost any longer. God our parent is out looking for us. All we need to do is to come home.
We grow up in faith with a God who worries about us, who suffers for us, and who won’t give up on us until he finds us and brings us back to a relationship of reconciliation and wholeness.
Mother’s Day
Today is Mother’s Day and I am preaching my very first Mother’s Day sermon ever. We recognize the special places that mothers have in our lives because without them, we would not be here today. In many occasions, they are the ones who
stayed up with us when we had the flu
made us arrow root soup to bring down our fever
hemmed our pants or dresses for the prom
cooked our dinners and gave us the best pieces to eat
worked in the sewing factory so that we can have those extra things
partnered with others and our fathers to provide a home to live
arbitrated fights that we had growing up
In the United States, Julia Ward Howe, who wrote the words to the Battle Hymn of the Republic was the first to suggest the idea of Mother’s Day in 1872. After the Civil War and during the Franco-Prussian War, Howe envisioned the day dedicated for mothers to pray for fathers, husbands, and sons sent to war. Initially Mother’s Day was not a holiday to remember mothers, but rather for mothers to worry about their men at war.
Our mothers, like God, have worried about us, suffered and sacrificed countless times for us, and looked after us so that we are safe at home.
We know that there are many more loving things that our mothers have done for us that we are most grateful. As mothers are known to provide nurturing and caring to their children, we also know that these skills are not exclusively present in mothers. We all potentially have those skills too. All women and men are capable of being caregivers to our children and to others. Fathers and men can and should share in the work with mothers. Listen to one of today’s parenting experts, Bill Cosby.
No matter how hopeless or copeless a father may be, his role is simply
to be there, sharing all the chores with his wife. Let her have the babies; but
after that, try to share every job around. Any man today who returns from
work, sinks into a chair and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for
danger. Actually, changing a diaper takes much less time than waxing a car.
A car doesn’t spit on your pants, of course, but a baby’s book value is
considerably higher.
All fathers and men are capable and should join with mothers and women to provide the necessary nurture and care raising up our children and youth. Adlai E. Stevenson once said, “There is absolutely no excuse for a parent to abdicate his most important duty—the proper raising of his children. No father should be allowed to get away with the cowardly logic which concludes that his only job in the family is to pay for the bacon.”
So today, we don’t have Emmys, Tonys or Oscars for our mothers. Athletes take their bows at Super Bowls and Halls of Fame. Scientists, writers and economists have Nobel Prizes and Pulitzers. But today we have no such trophy to give to our mothers. Today, however, we honor and recognize our mothers and all the mothers and women in church with the acknowledgment of the little things they do for us:
*All the women and mothers who holds up in front of the nursery windows the cute babies and toddlers so that we can keep an eye on them when we worship.
*All the Mrs. Lees in the Women’s Society who gathers to pray, sing, and talk about their families and eats the same chow mein and fried chicken wings every month. They are the Grandmother Loises and Mother Eunices of our church who will pass their faith to the future Timothys.
*All the Mrs. Chins who takes the initiative to be our church’s welcoming
committee to visitors as well as making sure that we lock up our church doors before going home.
*All the Auntie Marjories who joyously loves their daughters and grandchildren and still find it in their hearts to love a goddaughter.
*All the mothers and women who have lost their daughter or son and will
never give up searching until their loved one is found. And when this loss causes
great pain and suffering and at times, it does, these women would find their
spirits getting stronger and their inner hurts beginning to heal knowing that they and we can trust God.
*All the future mothers and women who will take up the responsibility of providing love and care to the next generation because we are caring for them today.
*And all the mothers and women who would wait up at night until we “called them when we get home” before they can go to sleep.
Roses
Let me close with a little story call “The Two Roses” by Jill Kimmel.
What a dynamo she was! Father described her as “four-feet-eleven with an eleven-foot-four mouth.” And Rosie’s mouth never ceased barking out orders to the three of us—Dad, my sister and me.
“Dress warm.” “Take an umbrella.” “Put on your boots.” “Take your vitamins.”
My mother was never wrong, and always ready to take on the challenge if someone disagreed with her.
A bookkeeper for many years, she had a keen interest in all kinds of topics. She had no problem defending her theories on child-rearing, nutrition, investment strategies or anything else on which she had formed an opinion. On the contrary, Rosie enjoyed a good fight. I admired the way she armed herself for battle by reading articles and books on every subject that interested her. Though it ignored me, being argumentative was just my mother’s way of showing off her new-found knowledge.
That was Rosie Number One.
The new Rose—Rose Number Two—looks remarkably like her namesake. Short in statue, she was the same blue-gray eyes, engaging smile and strong voice. But there the resemblance ends.
This new Rose is quiet and agreeable. She does not argue. She never forces her opinions on anyone. In fact, one wonders if she has any. This new Rose is not an avid reader. She does not do battle with talk-show hosts and their guests while sitting in front of the TV. She does not make me angry or impatient with what I once considered intellectual arrogance. On the contrary: my dear mother has lost her intellectual capacity to Alzheimer’s disease.
Now she sits alone, a vacuous look in her eyes, and my heart breaks for her. I wish she were here with me, fully engaged as she used to be, to argue and, at times, enrage.
I often think how ironic it is that the one thing I wanted to change about my mother is what I now miss the most. It would be so good to have my mother badger me, nag me, bark out her orders at me once again. “You have to take the good with the bad.” That was another one of my mother’s admonitions. At the time, it was just another order from Rosie. Now I find new meanings in the words. Even though she can no longer argue with me, my mother is still imparting her knowledge. She is showing me that to truly love someone means loving even their imperfections: taking the good with the bad. Rosie was right again. And by whatever name, this Rose—once so hardy and now so fragile—will remain my mother.
You who are the mothers and women of our church are truly the roses that have shown the beauty of your hardiness and your fragility. May this day be special to you for we are thankful for the gifts that your bring. May our God who is parent to all of us continues to show us that out of his everlasting love, God loves us and asks us to “call him when we get home.”
Let us pray.
Precious Lord, we give thanks for the love and gentleness that we have received from the mothers and women in our lives. Grant us your divine love and protection as we serve as caregivers to others and to the world. Amen.