January 19, 2013, 11:00 AM, Los Gatos Presbyterian Church, 16575 Shannon Rd, Los Gatos, 95032 (Near Los Gatos Blvd and Blossom Hill Rd)
Call to Worship
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though the waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge (Psalm 46:1-3, 7).
On behalf of Richard Quan and his sons, Matthew and David Quan, I welcome you here this morning to remember and celebrate the life of Donna Jew Quan, born on May 31, 1948 and returned to the Lord on January 9, 2013. This is not an easy time for family and friends to come together because no one expected that our loved one, Donna Quan is no longer with us in this life. When life takes an unexpected turn, it is a true blessing that we can be together to offer a prayer, give each other a supportive hug, and to say a goodbye with the faith that we would also greet a hello on another day. And in the loving grace and mercy of God made evident to us in Jesus Christ, we believe that we will greet Donna Quan with a hello when we see her in heaven.
You have come perhaps to seek comfort from your grief. You have come to give honor and respect to a good life praying that you too may receive such good things that come from God. You have come to offer sympathy and compassion to Donna Quan’s family to which this family is most thankful for your thoughts and presence. We hope that you will receive as much as you have given your time and presence to be here.
Let us pray together. O God, you are our rock and our salvation, a very present help in times of trouble. In our shock and grief over Donna Quan’s death, we seek comfort that only refuge in you can give. Help us not to fear the change that comes to our world because of Donna’s death, but to face it with courage and strength, confident in the hope of resurrection and life everlasting; through Jesus Christ, the Lord of Life. Amen.
Scripture Readings Sheryl Chan and Mary Chin
Biography Wes Chan
Words of Remembrance Family Members
Rich Quan
Matthew Quan
David Quan
A Capable Woman
Proverbs 31:10-11, 15-16, 19-20, 26-29
In the book of Proverbs, we have this beautiful “Ode to a Capable Wife.” Some of the verses are:
A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and tasks for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her happy; her husband too, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
If God had an archetype in mind when he included this passage in the Bible, a capable woman, God must have been thinking about Donna Quan. Of course, Donna would have brushed aside such a suggestion, but we know that if there was ever a woman who fits this description it was Donna. It is as though God was holding up before us the life of Donna Quan and saying, “This is an example of a capable woman.”
The writer of Proverbs 31 earlier has expressed doubt that a person of such virtue can be found. But if she can be found, she is, says the writer, “far more precious than jewels.” Donna was such a woman’ a woman whose attire was “strength and dignity” (v. 25) and in whose mouth were “wisdom” and “kindness” (v. 26).
What else can we say about Donna?
Donna’s work at home was her worship. Her passion in life was being a full-time mother, raising their two sons to become compassionate and sensitive adults. She organized the home by “laying her hands to the spindle” (v. 19), and rose while it was “still night and provided food for her household” (v. 15). She enjoyed gourmet cooking and successfully made the wonderful dishes that she saw on TV. Donna learned Chinese cooking from her mother and western cooking from her father. “With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard” (v. 16), Donna enjoyed gardening, fly-fishing, and the great outdoors. The Proverbs passage said that the capable woman is one who “looked well to the ways of her household” and never ate “the bread of idleness” (v. 27). While successfully building a loving home for Rich, Matt and David, she had more love to share with others.
A capable woman “opened her hand to the poor” and reached “out to the needy” (v. 20). Donna found joy in serving others and especially at Sacred Heart where she took Matt and David along to demonstrate to them the importance of helping others, passing out toys and food to those who are in need. Donna’s love extends out to her family and friends so that if there were a party, Donna was always ready and prepared to host events in their home. Her generous hospitality reveals her love for others. Thanksgiving dinner is a tradition in the Quan home.
Donna’s worship was of God. Donna and her family were some of the founders of the South Bay Presbyterian group and she became active in the Women’s Fellowship and the Sojourners at First Chinese Baptist Church. She expressed to Rich that she loves God and that Christ is real in her heart. We believe that God’s gracious love knows Donna’s heart baptizing her in God’s Spirit and welcomes her into eternal life.
A capable woman like Donna “opens her mouth with wisdom” and teaches “kindness” (v. 26). Donna had the gift of being a confidant who invited others to confide in her because she can offer wisdom, kindness, honesty and empathy to them. Her affirmation of them encouraged them to believe in the good things in life that she knew and that there will always be a more promising tomorrow.
The sudden passing of Donna Quan in a boating accident is still shocking to us. The imposition of death onto our lives is almost unbearable. We are struck by the fragile nature of our existence. We are frightened to know how quickly life can be taken away from us. We are brokenhearted that Donna Quan in her prime time of her life is with us no more. We are stirred at the deepest level of our emotions with pain and grief. And we are then tempted to at least speculate, “Why? Why this way?”
I urge you, though, to resist thinking this way. Humanly speaking, this tragedy does not and will not make sense. If there are answers to our aching questions, they are buried in the mind of God, to which we have no access. What then, can we say for our comfort and our consolation?
We can remind ourselves that, while we do not know the mind of God, we do know God. We know about God’s brooding, forbearing love from the witness of Hosea. We know about God’s unshakable faithfulness from the prophecies of Jeremiah. We know how God restores back to Job his health and his family in light of life’s calamities. Above all, we know God as the Father of our Lord Jesus, who not only taught about his Father, but embodied him in his human flesh and lived in obedience to God’s priorities. Backed up by his life, Christ’s saving death and resurrection, Jesus’ teachings about God take on a unique trustworthiness. We can believe in this.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches us not to be anxious about our lives: about tomorrow’s food, tomorrow’s clothing; in other words, about our tomorrows; and I suggest that his words apply with equal force when suddenly we face death—the absence of further tomorrows in this world. According to Jesus, who lived closer to God than anyone, our heavenly Father keeps track even of the lowliest of sparrows—“not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the Father” (Matt. 10:29b). “So do not be afraid,” he adds, “you are of more value than many sparrows” (Matt. 10:31).
Donna’s death was an accident. I cannot believe that God willed it, but I am convinced, thanks to Jesus’ teachings and victorious self-sacrifice, that her death, as senseless as it seems, does not fall outside God’s design. For God’s design includes death; some day each of us must die. But God’s design also includes the death of death; thanks to God’s raising Jesus from the dead.
In Proverbs 31, a capable woman is one that “her children rise up and call her happy; and her husband praises her” (v. 28). In the Quan home, Donna was the one who brought a lightheartedness to the family; seeing the silliness in things and inviting her family to laugh. She was always the eternal optimist and told Rich to lighten up and not be so serious.
The legacy that Donna Quan leaves with her family and with us is managing a loving and caring home is a full-time job and while many women have done excellently, Donna has surpassed them all. Donna showed us that being a “housewife, a homemaker, a full-time Mom” is an honorable profession that made her husband “known in the city gates” (v. 23) and “Her children rise up and call her happy; and her husband too, and he praises her (v.28). She has taught her family and friends wisdom and from the kindness in her heart, she has demonstrated in her actions that it’s always more blessed to give than to receive. Now you will have the opportunity to also be that optimist and be silly and inviting each other to laugh again.
Thanks to God’s raising Jesus from the dead, we can look forward with childlike trust to our life beyond death, to the life in which Donna is sharing with the Lord now.
Let us pray.
Almighty God, we thank you for giving us the life of Donna Quan who was an example for us in this life of what a capable and faithful woman can be. As we felt the ground move beneath our feet, O Lord, with the uncertainty which death always brings, we ask that you would become our sure footing, our safe and solid rock. Dispel any doubt that we may have with your own faithfulness. Carry us through our sorrow with your own great strength. Teach us the way that leads to peace.
Remind us that though the ground moves and creates uncertainty and fear, your love, mercy and compassion are constants that neither move nor change. Hold us, O Lord, in the grip of your unchanging and unending love. In Christ’s name we pray. Amen.
Announcements
If you wish to make a memorial gift, the family has requested that you can make donations to the Sacred Heart Community Services in San Jose and to the First Chinese Baptist Church in San Francisco in memory of Donna Jew Quan. More detail information can be found in your program.
When you exit, you will be given two small envelopes. The white envelope contains a piece of candy to symbolize sweetness in a bittersweet situation. The red envelope contains a coin for you to buy something on your way home to suggest that you will continue to prosper and to have a healthy life.
Final interment will be private after cremation. Following this service, the family invites you to a Memorial Meal at the Dynasty Seafood Restaurant, 10123 N. Wolfe Road in Cupertino, 95014 where the family looks forward to fellowshipping with you. See the funeral program for detail information.
Benediction
Beloved, in the midst of sadness, I charge you to rejoice.
Rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God!
Rejoice even in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope!
Rejoice above all that this hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit!
May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord makes his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace. Amen. (Romans 5:2-5; 15:13; Numbers 6:24-26)