June 12, 2011
Sermon preached by Rev. Donald Ng at the First Chinese Baptist Church in San Francisco.
Every year around this time, the movie industry comes out with new movies that I don’t like to see. They are the really scary movies that feature horror and violence on the big screen. You won’t catch me watching “Fear Factor” or any other show that gets people to confront things that are nerve-wracking or risky. I don’t find it entertaining at all.
This movie will date me but I am afraid of “Jaws.” In fact, water scares me. And I am a Baptist pastor who dunks people twice a year! When I was growing up in Boston, there was no swimming pool nearby and the water off Boston Harbor was colder than the water off Ocean Beach. So I grew up not knowing how to swim. There was no Chinatown YMCA in my neighborhood.
One year when I was a camp counselor for inner city kids, I tried to learn from the lifeguard of the camp pool. But for whatever reasons, I kept sinking—perhaps my body was just too dense! But during staff orientation one day, they threw me into the deep end of the pool and I had to have the lifeguard come to rescue me. I had to catch my breath. As long as I am Senior Pastor, there won’t be rookies’ initiations using water at Youth Camp.
When our son, Greg was little, we were visiting Joy’s brother Frank on Long Island. We decided to go fishing and fly kites on the beach. The kite went up into the sky quickly given the strong offshore winds. And wanting to give little Greg a chance to hold the kite string, the spool of string fell off our hands and started to skip along the sand and into the Atlantic Ocean. If I were to become a hero in Greg’s eyes, I would have lunged into the -water to save a $2 kite. But with jaws nearby and my fear of water, we let the kite fly away and Greg cried.
“Fear of the Jews”
In John’s Gospel for today, we see the disciples only three days after the crucifixion. They are blinded by grief and fear. It was just that morning that they heard from Mary Magdalene that Jesus’ body was missing from the tomb. Two disciples had seen the empty tomb but did not quite know what to make of it. Locked together in a room “for fear of the Jews,” the disciples’ thoughts and emotions were probably getting the best of them. “Are they coming after us next?” they must have wondered.
Feeling a mixture of grief, anger, guilt, fear and worry that often accompanies the death of one dear to us, unpleasant thoughts must have abounded. Like John the Baptist before, they must have asked themselves if Jesus was the one or should they have waited for another. They must have wondered, “Did we waste the last few years of our lives for nothing?”
Filled with grief, they must have felt that they had not done enough to save him thinking to themselves, “If only we hadn’t gone to the Garden maybe this wouldn’t have happened? If only we hadn’t been sleeping, we could have spent those last hours with him.” The “if-only” list goes on and on. If only I wasn’t that afraid of water, I would have saved that kite.
Alongside the grief and regret there must have been that overwhelming, paralyzing fear that drives the question, “Will we, too, be killed like common criminals? What now? He is gone. It is over.”
At this moment, the fear got the best of them. So they huddled together, shivering, breathing the shallow breath of the anxious and grief stricken. Silence descended as it often does when feelings are so overwhelming and scary that they cannot utter a sound. The doors of the house were locked. They were out of breath.
The word “fear” in the Greek is “phobos” or “fear of.” Our English word, “phobia” comes from this to mean an intense, terror-producing, an almost irrational fear—such as “aqua-phobia,” the fear of water for me. But for the disciples who saw what they have done to Jesus, their fear was not necessarily irrational but real.
Then Jesus came into the room and brought his peace to them and breathed the Holy Spirit onto and into all of them.
Thomas
All, that is, except Thomas.
We don’t know why Thomas wasn’t there that night. Maybe among them he was the responsible, practical one and had been brave enough to go out for some food or to hear what the news were. Thomas probably shared their feelings of doubt and fear, and imagine how much more sorrowful he must have felt when he learned he had missed seeing the Master!
Practical people aren’t always the best at expressing their feelings. When Thomas hears that his friends have seen Jesus, he asks for proof. He says he won’t believe it unless he can see the wound marks and put his fingers in them. He blurts out his demands. The other people around him probably wished he could just keep those doubts to himself!
Thomas was afraid, I think. He was afraid of being left out, afraid of losing everything good about his time following Jesus, and afraid of being wrong. The fear factor must have been high. So he blurted out his questions, his doubts, his fears, and then he saw Jesus and believed. Thomas did not go on living in fear.
Peace Be with You
Filled with fear, the disciples raised their weary heads to see the resurrected Jesus standing in front of them proclaiming, “Peace be with you” and calming their anxiety and fear. Peace means “shalom,” a common greeting in Israel that has far greater meaning than hello and goodbye, but includes a vision of wholeness, health, and safety.
After showing the disciples his wounds, he wished them shalom or wholeness once again. He breathed into them the Holy Spirit or “pneuma (spirit, wind, or breath) just as God breathed life and spirit into Adam in Genesis. Breath and life are inextricably linked. With breath and Spirit Jesus calls forth his disciples and us today out of the locked rooms of fear and anxiety.
It’s like when I thought I was drowning and the lifeguard calmed me down so that I can take a deep breath. When we encounter a great fear, some people would hyperventilate and would need to catch their breath. Fear impedes breath, wholeness, and peace. When someone is waiting for surgery…or those waiting anxiously wondering if their loved one will live or die, these life circumstances can restrict our breathing so much that we can’t think or function as we normally would.
A pastor tells of a story of meeting Anne in the hospital when her oldest son experienced an electrical fire that burned 85% of his body. She was a 71-year old mother of three and grandmother of six. Her only daughter had died the previous year leaving her youngest two children in Anne’s care.
Her husband was suffering from a back injury leaving him homebound. As matriarch of the family, Anne was beside herself trying to care for her husband, son, and grandchildren. Over those long months of her son’s precarious health, the pastor and Anne developed a strong relationship. Sitting with her each day, the pastor could tell when Anne’s anxiety and fear were getting the best of her—when she was locked in her metaphorical room of fear and chaos.
The pastor would prayerfully ask her, “Are you breathing today?”
The pastor’s question would give Anne pause and she would realize she wasn’t breathing very deeply. That simple awareness allowed her a little freedom in the moment. Over time, the pastor and Anne practiced breath prayers together and the ancient practice of breathing. Breathe in for four seconds. Hold the breath for four seconds. Breathe out for eight seconds.
While breathing didn’t change Anne’s grief or circumstances, it did allow her a moment of peace. It allowed her the freedom to at least discern what she needed, to put one foot in front of the other with less fear, and determine a plan for the day.
No More Fear
When the disciples rejoiced after seeing Jesus, Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” Jesus then breathed on them to receive the Holy Spirit and sent them on their way to forgive the sins of others.
Empowered with the breath of life from Jesus, the disciples are to leave their door-locked room and to spread the Gospel message, proclaiming forgiveness and freeing people from their dark rooms of fear.
We might take our breathing for granted. We need to breathe in and out all the time—when we are awake and when we are asleep. But if you are willing to breathe in the Holy Spirit, it’s a dangerous breath to take.
Like the disciples, you will be expected to forgive the sins of others especially the injustices that may have been done directly toward you. You would be expected to leave this securely locked and warm sanctuary and set aside your greatest fears to use your breath to tell people about Jesus whom you don’t want to meet. You will be expected to sit patiently and compassionately with others in great need and find the strength to free them from their dark rooms of fear and grief. Are you ready to take the dangerous breath of the Holy Spirit?
In conclusion, if you were to invite me to a pool party, I’ll probably decline. As a Baptist minister, I’m still afraid of water. Sprinkling would have been easier for me! God always has a sense of humor!
Let us pray.
Almighty God, we are grateful for the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives as the sign of your ever-presence in the world. Calm our greatest fears by breathing into us the Holy Spirit enabling and empowering us to go out to proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ in the world. Grant us shalom—wholeness, health, and safety today and all the days of our lives. Amen.