October 9, 2010, 11:30 AM
Prelude
Call to Worship
God is gracious. He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure. Jesus said, “Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Psalm 147:1, 3, 5; Matt. 11:28, 29; 5:4)
My name is Don Ng, Senior Pastor of the First Chinese Baptist Church in San Francisco where Sophie and Richard Tom have their membership. Dr. James Chuck, Pastor Emeritus of our church joins me in leading this service for you this morning.
On behalf of the Family of Mary Heong Kwong, I welcome you here today to remember her long life of 95 years and to celebrate her contributions to her family and to the world. Mary’s family is grateful for your presence today and hope that by your attendance you too would receive blessings of joy and promise of the meaning of a good and faithful life like the one that their loved one, Mary Kwong has lived.
Let us pray. O God, your care is like that of a father who has compassion for his children and a mother who comforts her child. We cast our heavy burdens of grief on you. Deal graciously with us in our anguish. Grant us the comfort of your rest. Assure us with the confidence that your faithful servant has been received into the arms of your mercy, in the blessed rest of your eternal care. May our lives hereafter bear witness to the hope that is ours in the crucified and risen Christ, who defeated death for our sake and now reigns victorious in your glory. Through his name we pray. Amen.
Hymn Amazing Grace
Scripture Readings Psalm 23 James Chuck
Life Story Jeffrey Tom
Special Music
Words of Remembrance
Message—A Capable Woman
For a minister like me, I often do not know the person whose life we are remembering and celebrating at a funeral service. I have never met Mary Kwong on this earth before but today I have come to know her through the lives of her children, grandchildren, and all of you. For that, I am grateful and blessed indeed. God in his creation has a way to connect his people together as a human family—our life stories while different are often similar, our struggles of coming to America are familiar, and our deep love for loved ones whether your surnames may be Masri, Tom, Kwong or even Ng makes little difference when we know that it’s the same Creator who made us all.
When I heard about the life of Mary Kwong, I was quickly reminded of Proverbs 31 where the Bible tells about what a capable woman is like. Listen to this passage and you will discover that Proverbs describes Mary Kwong to the very letter.
Read Proverbs 31:10-31.
Mary Kwong and her husband, Gene worked almost all of their lives together. In Las Vegas, while her husband worked as the cook, Mary waited on tables at the Silver Slipper Café. In Santa Cruz, they bought a poultry farm. In Watsonville, they grew vegetables and canned apples. They were as busy as bees when they worked at the Busy Bee Café. Together in San Francisco, they managed a boarding house where her husband cooked and Mary was the housekeeper. After working together in these different kinds of businesses, they finally found their ideal business—running a grocery store called, Two Jacks and then to another grocery store, the Serv-U-Store on 21st and Bryant. In Proverbs, a capable wife is one that “the heart of her husband trusts her, and he will have no lack of gain.” With their successful business enterprises, they were able to finally buy a family home in the city. They have no lack of gain. Rather than eating at the many places of their business ventures, Mary and Gene’s children now have a home to eat.
Both in biblical times as well as in our times, we value people who can create beautiful things with their hands. In Proverbs, a capable woman “seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all her household are clothed in crimson.” Mary worked long hours and often was awake late into the night for her family. She sewed all the children’s clothes and knitted them sweaters when it’s cold like snow was about to fall.
Today we have often given away the importance of clothing to brand names. We pay lots of money to GAP or Ralph Lauren so that we may help them advertise on our chest. But clothing was not like that before. When one used to wear a sweater knitted by our mother or aunt or grandmother, we wore it proudly and with honor. This homemade sweater is a symbol of love that the knitter has for you.
In Proverbs when this capable wife makes clothing for her husband, he is then “known in the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land. Strength and dignity are her clothing.” You told me that you still have the sweaters that your mother knitted for you and you have ones that she created for her grandchildren. Do not give these away but treasure them as symbols of love, strength and dignity from her. Take them out and tell stories about what happened when you wore these garments and then pass them down to your children so that they too will remember the legacy of Mary Kwong in your family.
As a Toishan person too, I can relate to the significance that food has in keeping the family together. We don’t say, “Have you eaten yet?” as a greeting if we didn’t mean it. She started planning and shopping for the holidays, weeks before they happen. She made the guy loong, the gin doi, the doong, the yourn balls, and the ti at Chinese New Years in large quantities for all to enjoy. There was always enough. She also learned how to make holiday fruitcake. In Proverbs, a capable mother “rises while it is still night and provides food for her household.” It’s almost like she works miracles while you were asleep. Mary’s love for you can be seen in the way she provides the traditional Chinese holiday pastries for you.
There’s a verse in this Proverb 31 chapter that is most interesting. I want to read verse 27 to you again: A capable woman “looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” One of the interesting stories that I heard from Mary’s children are the times when Mary after shopping for material at J.C. Penny’s would take Dewey to Woolworth’s and sit down at the cafeteria counter to have an egg salad sandwich, cut in quarters with potato chips in the middle and a fountain drink in one of those paper cone cups. While Dewey was eating his sandwich, his mother would sit and watch him eat. She had no sandwich to eat. Doris remembers having a hamburger while her mother just sat watching her eat. I think I know the explanation of Mary’s behavior. She was looking out for the welfare of her children and if she were eating too, she would be idling in her responsibilities of making sure you had enough.
For 95 years, Mary Kwong sent you to church and told you to learn good things. She told you to study hard and stop watching so much TV. Through her delicious and abundant food, she taught you the importance of your Chinese-American identity and heritage. Since she wasn’t able to complete formal education for herself, she taught herself fluent English, memorized poetry, learned about the world from her travels overseas, learned eventually how to drive, and the benefits of living frugally. She has passed onto you the values of education and the meaning of a good life. Again in Proverbs, a capable woman “opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
Now you can see why when I started hearing about Mary Kwong’s life that I thought immediately about Proverbs 31. God has written about her in the Bible and we have been blessed to see a capable wife, mother, woman come to real life in our lifetime. As the result of living a long life of faithfulness and dedication to her Creator, we celebrate Mary Kwong’s life today. Today, we, the community of faith and “her children rise up and call her happy,” because she has brought happiness and goodness to her family and to the world.
Let us pray. Creator and Provider God, at this time of all times, we need to thank you for the precious gift of life. We thank you for health—and the skill and compassion of those who care for us when our health falters and fails. We thank you for home: for the roof over our heads and the bed where we stretch out to renew our strength in sleep; and for the loved ones who make that roof and that house and all the rest into a true home. And we thank you for hope: hope for the pursuit of the next goal when one goal has been reached; hope for recovery and a fresh start when a goal has eluded us; hope at last, when all hope seems lost, except for the one shining hope set before us in your raising our Lord Jesus from death. Amen.
Song On Eagle’s Wings
Announcements
Following this service, there will be an interment at the Ning Yung Chinese Cemetery in Daly City. You are also welcome to attend the Memorial Meal afterward at the Tong Kiang Restaurant on Geary between 22nd and 23rd Avenue scheduled for 3:00 PM.
For those who may be unfamiliar with this tradition, when you have come forward to give your last respects and greet the family, you will receive two envelopes when you exit. The white one symbolizes the sorrow of losing a loved one and the red one symbolizes the truth that as you have come to offer comfort and encouragement to Mary Kwong’s Family that they wish you happiness and prosperity in your life. May the candy give you a sweet life and the coin good fortune.
If you would like to make a charitable donation in the name of Mary Heong Kwong, her family would like you to make that to The Self-Help for the Elderly.
Benediction
Jesus said, “Peace, I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid” (John 14:27).
I challenge you to believe that Mary Heong Kwong is enjoying that peace right now and that, if you keep the faith, this peace shall await you too. Keep the faith!
“May the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Amen. (Philippians 4:7)
Postlude
Committal Service
Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. (John 11:25-26)
“God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, crucified and risen, we commend to God’s merciful care our sister, Mary Leong Kwong; and we commit her body to this final resting place: earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
“Blessed are the dead who…die in the Lord…they will rest from their labors, for their deeds follow them.” (Revelations 14:13)
Let us pray.
Merciful God, you created us in your own image, perhaps because you were lonely. You created us as members of families, so that none of us should ever be lonely. You share our grief when the family circle is broken and we experience loneliness and sorrow, because someone we have loved and counted on has left us. Grant us strength to face our loss, with the assurance that Mary Heong Kwong’s return to you has not broken our family circle, but only extended it beyond this earthly scene into the heavens that your children share with you, thanks to the resurrection of your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Benediction
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with all of you. Amen.
Paying last respects.
We thank you again for your presence here today. You are cordially invited to attend the Memorial Meal at the Tong Kiang Restaurant on Geary between 22nd and 23rd Avenue following our time here. Mary Kwong’s family looks forward to greeting you there. Go with God’s peace.